Green Eggs and Fluff
by Cke1st
Summary: Ruffnut and Tuffnut try to persuade Astrid to eat something new and different. Any resemblance to a famous children's book is purely deliberate.


**Green Eggs and Fluff**

A/N This conversation happened between Astrid and the twins on a slow Laugardagr (Saturday) morning. _Ruffnut and Tuffnut's words are in italics_. Astrid's words are in normal text. Any resemblance to a famous children's book is purely deliberate.

**o**

_I am Ruff!_

_I am Tuff!_

That Ruff and Tuff!  
That Tuff and Ruff!  
I do not like that Tuff and Ruff.

_Do you like green eggs and fluff?_

I do not like green eggs and fluff.

_Would you eat them here or there?_

I would not eat them here or there.  
I would not eat them anywhere!  
I do not like green eggs and fluff.  
I do not like them, Tuff and Ruff.

_Would you eat them with a Nadder?_  
_Would it make you much, much sadder?_

I would not eat them with a Nadder.  
That would only make me madder!  
I would not eat them here or there.  
I would not eat them anywhere!  
I do not like green eggs and fluff.  
I do not like them, Tuff and Ruff.

_Would you eat them next to Toothless?_

I would not, could not, next to Toothless.  
That would make me very ruthless!  
I would not eat them here or there.  
I would not eat them anywhere!  
I do not like green eggs and fluff.  
I do not like them, Tuff and Ruff.

_Would you eat them with a Terror?_  
_Would you share them, be a sharer?_

I would not, could not, with a Terror.  
That would be a major error!  
I would not eat them with a Nadder.  
That would only make me madder!  
I would not eat them here or there.  
I would not eat them anywhere!  
I do not like green eggs and fluff.  
I do not like them, Tuff and Ruff.

_Would you? Could you? With a Viking?_  
_Would that be more to your liking?_

I would not, could not, with a Viking.  
Soon, your face I would be striking!  
Not with Toothless, not with a Nadder,  
Not with a Terror - I'd get madder!  
I would not eat them here or there.  
I would not eat them anywhere!  
I do not like green eggs and fluff.  
I do not like them, Tuff and Ruff.

_You might like them! Check your facts._  
_Would you cut them with your axe?_

I'd love to cut them with my axe,  
And cut you also! Watch your backs!  
Not with Toothless, not with a Terror,  
Not with a Nadder - that's an error!  
I would not eat them here or there.  
I would not eat them anywhere!  
I do not like green eggs and fluff.  
I do not like them, Tuff and Ruff.

_Your skirt! Your skirt! Your spiky skirt!_  
_I bet you'd eat them in your skirt!_

I would not, could not, in my skirt.  
My mind won't change, I won't convert!

_Would you in your shoulder pads?_  
_Armored shoulders make you glad!_

No, not in shoulder pads or skirt.  
Now quit before you both get hurt!  
Not with Toothless, not with a Nadder,  
Not with a Terror - I'll make you sadder!  
I would not eat them here or there.  
I would not eat them anywhere!

_You do not like green eggs and fluff?_

I do not like them, Tuff and Ruff!

_You do not like them. So you say. _  
_Try them! Try them! And you may. _  
_Try them and you may, I say. _

Ruff and Tuff! To get some peace,  
I will try them. Then you'll cease.

(she tries them)

And now I've tried green eggs and fluff,  
I still don't like them, Tuff and Ruff!

Because you wouldn't call it quits,  
My axe will chop you both to bits!  
I'll punch you both right in the arm,  
Just like with Hiccup, but more harm.  
I'll hurt you with my friend Stormfly,  
With spikes and fire until you cry!  
Your Zippleback, he cannot save  
You from my anger or the grave!  
When I'm done pounding on your heads,  
You'll wish that you'd stayed in your beds!  
I said I hate green eggs and fluff!  
I really meant it, Tuff and Ruff!

(she screams and chases them all over the island with her axe)

**o**

_A/N The actual story behind this is, I was on vacation with my family for four days with no access to a computer, and I was going through withdrawal symptoms - I couldn't write anything! I had all kinds of ideas in my head, but I couldn't do anything with them! I finally found a PC available in the hotel lounge, sat down, and hammered this out in about half an hour. I guess the real moral of the story is, "Don't frustrate a compulsive writer, or you never know what will spill out of his head."_


End file.
